What’s the dumbest sport you can imagine? Chances are polo will be up there. A bunch of toffs prancing around on indulged fillies smacking a ball with mallet…That’s pretty dumb.
But how about if you replace the horses with elephants?
“Nellie the Elephant Packed her Trunk and said Goodbye to her Dignity”
That’s right sports fans; elephant polo occupies a special place in the Asian sporting firmament. The sport is played widely in Nepal, Sri Lanka, India and Thailand. And guess what? England and Scotland regularly field elephant polo teams.
The rules (yes this is a proper sport) involve two teams, mounted on elephants, smacking balls with a six to ten-foot cane with a polo head on the end, trying to score goals. The game ends when an agreed playtime elapses, or when the elephants stop giving a sh*t and pack it in.
Guess which tends to be the case?
And this isn’t the pursuit of a small bunch of overpaid idiots with too much time on their hands. Oh no. This is a proper, honest to goodness, tournament sport. The BBC even described the 2008 Elephant polo World Cup the ‘highlight of the sporting calendar’ in Nepal.
Personally? Think we’ll stick to FIFA and the Ashes.